Jim Rome

LeBron Still Isn’t Ready For Prime Time

To quote the Miami Heat team president: A playoff series doesn’t really start until the home team loses a game. Consider Heat-Pacers officially underway after Miami couldn’t finish in Game 2. And consider the Heat officially in trouble. And just when you think it’s safe to buy into LeBron James as the ultimate alpha and closer; a guy that has finally figured it all out. He hasn’t. He still can’t finish and he still doesn’t get it. Down one with less than a minute to play, he clanked two free throws. But insists the loss isn’t on him: “this game is not lost or won with two free throws. But I definitely want to come through for my teammates, so I’ll get an opportunity again. I know I’ll be at the line again in that situation. Just go up and make em.” Dopiest thing he’s said in a long time.

Photos: LeBron vs. Granger

You may not have lost that game for them, but you sure didn’t do anything to win it either. And never mind being in that situation again: you were in the situation last night and you went into the tank. LeBron still isn’t ready for prime time. Look at the bright side, at least this year when you don’t win it all, you have your out: Chris Bosh’s injury. And then you can start planning your opt out and return to Cleveland.

Look, the Heat may have two of the top ten players in the world. But right now, that’s all they have. And as good as James and Wade are, they’re not good enough to win a title playing 2 on 5. They’re probably not even good enough to get past Indiana playing like that. And while no one ever accused Bosh of being Moses Malone, without him, they suddenly seem awfully small. And soft. And when things got chippy last night, the only guy who pushed back was Wade. And by pushing back, I mean he ran right through Darren Collison.

Eaaasssy, Dwyane. Jason Smith lighting up Blake Griffin earlier this season can’t believe how jacked up that was.

He wasn’t enforcing a no lay up rule. That was Wade steamrolling the smallest dude on the floor out of frustration. And it was weak.

And so was Wade’s whining about Indiana’s on court celebration after the win: “I saw (Indiana’s) little celebration at the end of the game. I don’t know if they didn’t expect to win. But every night we go out on the court, we expect to win. They stated their identity. They said they wanted to be like Dallas. So they celebrated like Dallas, I guess.” Oh no he didn’t. Did the guy who went smoke machine and forklift before they had even held their first practice, really just rap someone else for a “little celebration.” Get real. And don’t forget you were the crew that was kneeling down and practically weeping after beating Boston in the second round last year. And you were the guy who hit that 3 to go up 15 against Dallas in Game two of the Finals with just over 7 minutes to go…and goose necked it for about 10 seconds in front of the Dallas bench….then didn’t score the rest of the way and lost. And remember you were the one who warned the media after that choke joke, “don’t make nothing out of that celebration like you guys did in the Boston series.” So how about you don’t make nothing of Indy’s celebration last night, Dwyane... You lost. Take it like a man. And keep moving.

Don’t Kick Dirt On Tim Duncan

Timothy Theodore Duncan. Don’t kick dirt on the guy, even if he's older than the dirt itself. Because dude found a time machine and set it 1998... If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he just busted out of Wake Forest and was running with the Admiral last night. Was that Tony Parker feeding him or Avery Johnson?

Photos: Timmy

And the Clippers discovered a couple of things - the Spurs aren't so old, and they aren't the Grizzlies. That's not a team that's going to grip, trip and blow 20-point leads at home. I know the Clips are gassed coming off a long series, but this is going to be a really short one if Timmy is getting up and down like this, - 26 points, 10 boards in 35 minutes and one step closer to a fifth ring. And the old man has never looked better.

Kobe On Flopping

Kobe Bryant’s not in the best mood right now, so it was the best time to ask him about flopping. And he gave the best response yet. He said NBA’ers hitting the deck and flailing like fish on a dock makes him wonder if they’re missing a part of their male anatomy: “that’s kind of like, were are your bleeps at?”
Look, one thing for a knucklehead like me to say flopping soccerizes the sport and embarrasses the stars who do it. Quite another for one of the game’s best ever to say it. And he’s right. And the guy with five rings may as well have directed that to the two stars who have combined to win zero: Bron and Blake. Can you imagine Bryant running into a pick and then going down like he had been run over by a truck? Neither can I.

Photos: Kobe

And yes, I heard him say he refuses to take charges. Don’t confuse that with refusing to play defense. He’s been All Defensive first team 9 times and he’s played through every injury in the book. He’s right: flopping is lame and it’s turning the Association into a league of bad actors. It’s a good question. Where are your bleeps at?

Must Be Nice, Bryce

I had no choice but to gloss Javale McGee, “must see McGee” because he did something every single night this season that you couldn’t afford to miss. And now I’m hitting Bryce Harper with his new handle. Must be nice, Bryce. Because everything about this dude’s life is nice. Let me ask you 19 year olds: What’s your perfect day? Rolling out of the rack at the crack of noon. Improving your call of duty kill-death ratio. Getting a like on Facebook from a gal you’ve been working? That’s a ten, right. For you. But for Bryce, that’s a one.

Photos: Must Be Nice

Let me tell you about Bryce Harper’s day yesterday. Probably showed up to the yard around 11 am. Took some BP, got his grub on, crushed his second home run in as many days and then beat it out of the ballpark to sit cage side for a UFC fight. Not a bad Tuesday. And he actually looked like he could have been one of the fighters, with that crazy lettuce and nasty gash over his eye. And yet again, he didn’t bag it up and act the fool. That’s an easy atmosphere to get drunk, get belligerent or get embarrassed. Ask Rex Ryan, who once flashed a middle finger at one. Bryce just took it all in and showed he has at least one thing in common with other 19 year olds: he likes the octagon girls.

Must be nice, Bryce.

The Lakers Are In Big Trouble

Lakers v. Thunder wasn’t a matter of Rest vs. Rust. That was more like Hammer vs. Nail. Curb vs. Face. Contender vs. Pretender. No amount of rest was going to prevent this from happening!

The Lakers could have had a week off and they still would have gotten abused by Russell Westbrook. Fatigue wasn’t the issue: that’s not why the Lakers lost that game. They got hammered because the Thunder are younger, faster, more athletic, and deeper. They’re just better. I’m sure the Lakers are telling themselves it’s just one game, but they know it wasn’t. They’re in big trouble already. And they know it: they didn’t belong in the same building as the Thunder last night.

Photos: KD Dunks Over Bynum

I mean, Andrew Bynum went 20 and 14 and they’ll got hammered. And speaking of Bynum, how about he and Pau Gasol remaining on the bench after the game to chop it up and talk about how they could keep from getting curb-stomped again in Game 2. Think maybe you might want to take that into the locker room fellas? Maybe listen to what your head coach has to say after a beatdown like that? Obviously, they didn’t care what Mike Brown had to say or they would have returned to the locker room. Its one thing for Bynum to sit outside the huddle during the game, now he has Gasol doing it within him after the game.

NBA Nerd Plague

While flopping in the NBA has become an epidemic, it’s still not nearly the threat to the league that the NBA Nerd Plague is. Because that has reached code red status. Literally.

Again, Russell Westbrook was far and away the best player on the floor last night. But how do you explain his act off it.

Dude, what is that? Red specs? No lenses? And how about that shirt: my man, you are an assassin; you can’t shop at Kids R Us.

Look, I get, sort of, that all the alpha dogs of the NBA are a part of the new nerd herd: that geek is now chic. That all the fellas are rocking the thick rims even though they have perfect eye sight. But y’all don’t look fly. You look George McFly. And while you can’t all run for the same team, apparently you all belong to the same fraternity: lambda, lambda, lambda.

World Peace Sounds Off

And Metta World Peace had a night didn’t he? What do you think was his most ridiculous statement of the night? Telling TNT that James Harden flopped. Or saying he thought the Lakers played OK. Or plugging his podcast and website in the locker room after that massacre. Go ahead and take D, all of the above. This is borderline assault.

As far as them playing ok, what you meant to say, was you played O-K-C, right Mett. Because you didn’t play OK. Y’all got hammered. And it was embarrassing. And everyone saw it. Saying you played ok may be ever more offensive than saying Harden flopped.

Photos: Metta

Oh and hyping your shrink and your new single after an NBA title is hilarious, but plugging your podcast and website after a humiliating beat down is pretty pathetic. In the end, the Lakers were as embarrassing off the court as they were on it.